Girls always speak without ever think the word that come out their mouth will hurt some people heart. “Nobody care about me. Let me die” “hate life” “life sucks” “now his gone, I better dead”. Every time I heard those, my heart just erupts with anger. There is more in life than just being happy all the times. For no reason what so ever, I just think. If I really did die tonight, what will my letter be?
If I die tonight,
What will happen to my mom? Will she ever stop crying? Will my dad stand up strong, or will he sit down and watch me dying. Will they ever forgive me, for not being the best of me. Oh god. I wish they don’t see this. I made them cry too many times when I’m still a kid, now I can’t bear watching them crying when I’m dying. Your grown up son with a beautiful face want to tell you mom n dad that he love you. Smile for tomorrow, coz I bring smile when I’m born and I want you to smile when I’m gone.
If I die tonight,
Along.. You bear the burden for too long.. Thanks for raising me to become this man.. Thanks for never let me get hungry, and always fill my wallet when I’m desperate for money. Angah is my guidance, my strong, my cleverly and witty sabri. Thanks just for being my brother. I never get bullied just because I’m your brother. I been accepted anywhere just because I’m your brother. Just because I love you brother, I’m proud of you no matter what you do. Amjot~ tomorrow just make fun of me. Make all of our family happy.. Just try your best to make them happy. I’m sorry guys for not being a great brother. We have great life and we respect each other’s. We share the burden and we share joy. You guys are reason I keep on living, and you guys are reason I want to end this. So much of love, we never say it. Somehow I knew.
If I die tonight,
Hey friends.. just because I’m no longer here not meaning you cannot come here. Please do visit my family, please keep on seeing my mom. She loves you guys sometime more than she loves me. Hang out with my brothers; give them a cigarette or something. Because that what I always do. If you have a friend hungry, please give him something to eat. That what I always do, and please do continued. Bring your child to my grave and tell her/him a good story about me. How I always there for you guys, and how I always forgive you guys. So he/she can understand a true meaning of friendship.
Anyhow I knew you, or from where I met you. If you are my friend then forgive me. If happen you cross my town, please visit my mom and tell her I love her. Tell my father how good I am. Make a good story of our short journey, and how we have fun. Hug my brothers guy, tell them I’m a good friend and you guys thanks them for make be that way.
If I die tonight,
So much to say.. too many to apologize. How about my uncles? My aunts? My beautiful alya mysarah and aina batrisyah? My cousins? My respectful neighbor who I knew them as family? Teachers? Too many people to thanks too many love to said. If I die tonight, l cries.
If I die tonight,
And you remember this post from years ago I write. Print it out and read it to those who not know. If I die tonight,just be happy for tomorrow. Give yourself sometime to be sad for losing me, and then laugh it out. Because I want you guys to be happy.. I want her to be happy.. I want my child to be happy.
With my finger typing, comes my tears down streaming. Yes, I don’t want to die yet. It happens to be my time, so be it. See you in heaven, I want to be there. Pray for me.
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